VDC Man Sees Stars: Patrols Get Wet: 1st Uniform: Fairy Tale

HOW A V.D.C. MAN SAW STARS

IF, after all our bayonet fighting practice I never have the opportunity of plunging the cold steel into a yellow "Nip", or, if this war ends before the V.D.C. goes into action, I will at least have had the honour of having been wounded in training, if not in battle.

On second thoughts, as an N.C.O., I should not feel so proud, since it was due to a lack of those fundamental safety precautions that Army Regulations insist on that I sustained my wound from a Mills grenade.

I became a casualty while engaged in throwing practice with a squad of 15 Platoon at Middle Head. The grenades were full weight duds. The squad extended two paces, and on the command "At your targets, throw," delivered their grenades simultaneously. My lack of personal safety precaution lay in the fact that, instead of taking up a position on the left of the squad, I chose the right flank and that was my undoing.

On my left stood an enthusiastic old Digger, whose style of throwing, I was soon to learn, was quite contrary to that laid down.

On the command "Throw", he swung in a low wide arc and caught me fairly on the back of the head.

I went down like a ninepin, the gore flowing freely. The stars came out and little birds whistled as I faded into temporary unconsciousness.

I later learned that a hurried S.O.S. -,vas sent to our A.M.C. sergeant and he and the O.C. came at the double; for by the time the message reached them it had grown to alarming proportions-"Sergeant Martin had been blown up by a live Mills grenade"!

A much relieved colonel and A.M.C. aide found a very dazed N.C.O. with a nasty wound in the head. I was transported to the local honorary M.O., who stitched me up, and I arrived home to an alarmed wife bandaged up like a real battle-scarred warrior.

I earned two weeks' sick leave and quite a lot of notoriety, and acquired a fixed determination always to adopt safety precautions by taking up a position on the left flank when throwing grenades with a squad.

"N318118"

PATROLS SOMETIMES GET WET

Ever been caught in a storm without a raincoat? If you have, you will certainly appreciate the time we had on a certain patrol when we left ours behind, and that was not the only thing that happened to us.

Here is the story. Ordered out on a week-end manoeuvre at the beach we arrived at the rendezvous at about 1700 hours and were allotted guard duties.

We were relieved just after nightfall and moved over to headquarters for tea, which was eaten in the dark-a new experience for most of us. Then we were detailed as a fighting patrol to go out that night.

Leaving the right flank of our supporting company at 1900 hours, we were to proceed to a point some three miles away, then turn at right angles, patrol the line to another point a similar distance away, and return through the left flank of the supporting company at 2359 hours.

Moving off on the tick, we proceeded quietly through the bush. About an hour later, we were challenged by a sentry of the supporting company. After a short conference we left the supporting company complaining that they had not had any blankety-blank tea yet.

While scouting through the bush one of our men spotted a light ahead. Down to earth we went. Scouts were thrust out to investigate and the joke proved to be on us, for the light turned out to be a clump of phosphorescent fungus glowing in the dark. We moved off again, but were slowed up by a dense fog which suddenly blanketed the whole landscape. The sergeant however did a good Ph with his compass, and we were able to penetrate the fog bank, and crossed a road to reach our first objective, a wide irrigation drain. Pressing along one of its banks for about a quarter of a mile we called a halt and had a spell.

Meanwhile the sky had become overcast, and although we expected rain we d1d not anticipate anything like the drenching that was in store for us. Quickly on the move again we traversed a swamp, crossed some open sandy country, and reached the thick bush again. Then, suddenly, the storm hit us. And what a storm!

Sheets of water poured down on us and soaked us through in a minute or two; a howling gale came with the rain and the lightning flashed vividly. One moment everything was as black as pitch and the next as bright as day. We were blinded by the flashes and had to hang on to each others' rifles in order to keep together.

Our compass had become ineffective, so we trudged on through the bush making in the general direction of the coast. Eventually we came upon a cart-track and decided to follow it in the hope that it would bring us out near our starting point.

With the water trickling down our backbones, and feeling cold and miserable, we splashed our way down the track, which by now had almost become a running stream. Rounding a bend we saw the glimmer of a light away to one side, and pressing on approached a hut, which we learned was originally held by our supporting company, but alas was now in enemy hands. The storm, however, had forced a suspension of hostilities, and we were allowed to pass up the track unmolested. But we had not gone far when those of us who were following heard a crash from the head of the line, followed by language which would have done credit to a bullock-driver. One of our members flashed a torch, and in its light we saw our sergeant lying sprawled across an old iron bed which had been placed on the track as a booby trap. Resuming our trek we came to a gate and were startled by sudden fining close at hand.

Splashing on in the downpour we followed this apparently endless track and were again halted. This time by a motor-car stuck fast in the mud. Its optimistic driver was trying to manhandle it himself. We were not feeling too charitable by then, but, after an argument, decided to give him a hand. Putting our shoulders to his wheel we pushed away until one of our fellows at the back gave a shout of rage, and to our dismay we discovered that we were not only trying to push the car, but five men sitting cozily inside as well.

We abandoned the Good Samaritan act, and moved on.

Debouching upon the road we trod familiar ground and were soon challenged by one of our own sentries. The patrol was over.

The rain continued to pour and as we moved into headquarters it did not make us any happier to see the rest of the company wearing their greatcoats and ground sheets.

We made our report, and the next problem was that of getting dry. Its solution appeared rather hopeless as our kitbags had been left out in the rain, and, like ourselves, they were soaked through. No dry change!

Fortunately there was an empty golf-house close at hand where we were able to rub ourselves down. With our greatcoats and such dry change as we could borrow we made ourselves comfortable and enjoyed a hot cup of coffee before the warmth of a big fire.

Turning in we tried to snatch some sleep, but this was not easy as some of the fellows kept up a sing-song and others tramped continually in and out, coming to and from headquarters, where a big fire had been lighted in the bush.

Then an order was issued cancelling the rest of the show, and we were called out at 0500 hours to move off for home.

While enjoying the stew served up for breakfast we learnt that the cooks had also had their troubles. The rain had washed out the cookhouse, but a long trip to a military camp enabled the "babblers" to meet the situation.

And so ended the manoeuvre and our next move was towards Home Sweet Home.

"W61989"

WHEN I FIRST PUT THIS UNIFORM ON (W. S. Gilbert)

PRIVATE (TEMPORARY LANCE-CORPORAL, ACTING CORPORAL) STEELE, surveyed with dismay a pile of equipment accumulated over a period of four years.

He recalled that, in the early days of the V.D.C., dressing for parade was a simple matter. Climbing into his oldest flannel bags and moth-eaten coat he ambled off with hands in pockets to the parade ground, where, if lucky, he was issued with a wooden rifle for the afternoon.

Gradually, however, as the war progressed, articles of a military character were issued one at a time, and although some were subsequently withdrawn, he ultimately found himself the temporary owner of the imposing array which he now disposed about his person in a manner as near to the regulations as he could remember.

The uniform itself presented no problem and his secret embarrassment over the ill-fitting coat was compensated by the glamour of the two stripes on his right sleeve. He next selected the belt and fastened it in place, only to remove it immediately in order to thread the frog of the bayonet scabbard upon it. -the bayonet was among his most recent acquisitions and he could not resist the temptation to withdraw it from its sheath to admire the cold steel and the businesslike point, thanking his stars that with any luck he would never be called upon to use it in other than a token manner.

Corporal Steele then selected his water bottle and haversack, tossed a coin to decide on which shoulder they should be respectively slung this Sunday, since he could never recall the regulation appertaining to these impedimenta, and proceeded to climb Into them, ducking the bean and threshing the arms until finally the articles were in place and flapping uncomfortably against his flanks.

A newly issued cartridge bandolier next caught his eye, and, after experimenting with one or two alternative positions, he decided to sling it over his left shoulder and buckle the two ends to the belt. Surveying the result in the mirror, he was rather pleased with the general effect, since it converted his usually attenuated form into quite impressive dimensions, and this was enhanced after he had put his head through the sling of his respirator, which he thought best to carry on his chest at the ready, since both hips were occupied.

Having received no instruction about the correct position of his cape-groundsheet, he draped this artistically over his shoulders, which were by this time assuming a somewhat bowed appearance, and then adjusted his steel helmet on to his narrow head.

Stooping down to pick up the final article of total war, the rifle, he was nearly knocked off his balance by the haversack and water bottle swinging forward and clashing together forcibly. He realized that the belt would have to come off once again to be threaded through the straps of this equipment to prevent a repetition of the occurrence.

That done, to please his admiring family, he was required to fix bayonet and make a few passes at his reflection in the mirror. "On guard! Point - withdraw - on guard!" shouted the corporal, and his children roared with delight as his tin hat fell forward over his eyes and his gas mask flapped hollowly against his chest. He had omitted to fasten the whipcord behind his back.

Steele pulled himself together and asked to be assisted into his greatcoat-for he had been instructed to take full equipment on to this parade.

Fully arrayed in all his glorious panoply, Steele made a gallant attempt to stand upright in order to salute his wife in a manner befitting one of His Majesty's non-commissioned officers - and indeed he made an inspiring sight. Had he been ordered by his commanding officer to advance at the double, he felt certain that he could not possibly have put up more than a token shamble, and as for being anything resembling an effective fighting unit, the mere idea was fantastic.

Out of the house, he sidled to a tap, and filled his water bottle, which promptly gave him a list to port, but this was quickly adjusted when he crammed the dixie containing his lunch into the haversack on the starboard side. Finally, emitting a loud creaking sound and sagging at the knees, he lurched on his way - every inch a scarecrow!

"W48393"

TALE. FAIRY. V.D.C.. Mk I

Once there was sited in Fairyland a handsome V.D.C. Pl. Com., Lieut. Ellem Gun, who was popular, intelligent, and keen, and an admirer of smartness wherever he saw it.

As he watched the dismissal of a W.A.A.A.F. parade one day the salute of one A.C.W. appealed to his well-trained eye. Taking full advantage of ground, cover, and concealment, he reconnoitred her orderly withdrawal to the town.

From his concealed position he observed her patrol past a cafe' several times as if considering an assault, but finally she occupied a position fronting a shop window and commenced a "recce" of its contents.

Lieut. Gun now made his appreciation of the situation:

APPRECIATION OF THE SITUATION.-By Lieut. ELLEM GUN, Pl. Com., at Fairyland at 1545 hrs on the 22nd August, '43

OBJECT: To make acquaintance of W.A.A.A.F.

OBJECTIVE: W.A.A.A.F.

FACTORS:
- Topography:
  - (a) Street fairly crowded. Deduction: Cover.
  - (b) Cafe' attractive.
    Deduction: Hungry, but money short or prefers company.
  - (c) Occupying window position. Deduction: (i) Inspecting contents; (2) Examining reflection in glass.
  - (d) W.A.A.A.F. contours. Deduction: Gentle slopes.

Relative Strengths:
- W.A.A.A.F.: 1 W.A.A.A.F. attractive; arms-beautiful; finance-magazine empty; 1: 1 Lt V.D.C., tall, handsome; arms-strong; finance-full echelon. Deduction: Odds favour me.
Time and Space: 1545 hrs. Deduction: Prompt action if afternoon tea is to be secured.

Weather: Fine 2nd clear. Deduction: Make a night of it.

COURSES:
- To me:
  (a) Wait and meet her formally.
  (b) Introduction by mutual friend.
  (c) Introduce myself.
- To W.A.A.A.F.:
  (k) Might be reconnoitring for escort.
  (l) Might knock me back.
  (m) Might accept pick-up.

CONSIDERATIONS:
If I (a) or (b) and W.A.A.A.F. (k) might get someone else first.
If I (c) and W.A.A.A.F. (1) courses (a) and/or (b) still open.
If I (c) and W.A.A.A.F. (m) I'm set.

CONCLUSION: I will adopt course (c).
- PLAN: Introduce myself by, surprise attack from rear.
- Lieut. Gun now put his plan *into operation. He laid his cap and tie on their zero lines, set all his buttons at "safety", and infiltrated through the crowd toward his objective. He tapped the W.A.A.A.F. on the shoulder, saluted briskly, and said, "Lieut. Ellem Gun here. Afternoon tea?"
- She replied, "A.C.W. Ima Messorderly here. Oke."
- He immediately knelt down and shouted, "On! He was exultant. All his training had emphasized the value of surprise and here was an illustration of its complete success. It also taught him the value of concise wording.
- She was not excited. She knew the characteristics of her weapons, and considered her ambush completed according to plan.
They encountered no enemy resistance in the advance on the cafe', and a quick "recce" revealed O.P. in comer, cover provided from front and flanks by low screen. He located alternative position-other comer io ft, bearing i8o deg.

Over the tea they consolidated their position and drew up operation orders for night manoeuvres at cinema. Occupying a position affording good visibility they awaited the zero hour. They used only one seat as he knew economy of materials to be one of the essentials of good tactics. After-wards they discussed their tactics and were dismissed by the sentry at the gate of her camp.

Next day intercommunication was established in the battle code by semaphore but was discontinued for security reasons. On the following Friday she was handed a slip of paper with a message reading:

To A.C.W. 1. Messorderly.

FRom Lieut. Ellem Gun. E.G.I. 26
Meet me Saturday 27th at 1945 hrs stop

R.V. Xrds MR140356 1320. Ellem Gun, Lieut.

"What a lovely warning order," thought Ima. When she debussed at R.V. they synchronized watches and agreed his must be Plus 15 mins. They patrolled the riverbank and found a site in a defilated position. They adopted close formation and he began an encircling movement, which met with little opposition and which, as it developed, brought into action A.L.A.
He told her:
(i) He expected a new tyre through V.D.C.
(2) He had used none of his clothing coupons.
(3) He didn't smoke.

She told him:
(i) Of her camp life.
(2) Of her training.

He inquired if she was engaged, but she assured him she had no second front. They dismissed from a covered position. She wondered why he did not present an osculatory salute, but he wondered just how proficient was her unarmed combat.

On Monday she received a letter-her first love letter. Surely there was never so passionate a love letter as this:

H.Q., V.D.C.,
Fairyland,
August 30, 1943-
PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE

1. I love you.
2. Will you marry me?
3 - When?
4. Where?
5. This matter is to receive your immediate attention.
6. Ack.

E. GUN, Lieut. O.C.

Almost immediately came the mental reports:
- Sentiments-Correct.
- Clothing and tobacco prospects-Correct.
- Tyre position-Correct.
- Report: No. 1 A.C.W. ready.

She then wrote the first love letter of her young life, so that he could not fail to see her love exuding from every tender word

Lieut. E. Gun,

H.Q., V.D.C.,

Fairyland.

E.G. 197 / 8/'43 -Proposal of Marriage

Your letter of even date re above; the answers are
- Para (1) Your sentiments are reciprocated:
- " (2) Yes.
- " (3) Any time.
- " (4) Anywhere.

I. MESSORDERLY, A.C.W.

And so Ellem and Ima were married. They drew special coupons for setting up a home. In course of time they drew maternity bonuses and lived happily ever after. Their one regret is that though they have filled in many new forms they have not yet received the tyre.

"Q2 26770"

CHRISTMAS AT THE POST

"SAY, fellers, look at Bill dreaming. just as well there are no Nips about, or we might be in the soup. Hey, snap out of it, Bill!"

These jarring remarks from the corporal broke Bill's day-dream. He looked towards the tent, where the rest of his cobbers were sun baking, and shouted, "It's all right for you coves, but do you remember what to-day is?"

"Cripes, it's the 24th! Christmas Eve! And we had all forgotten, except Bill. Can you beat that? Christmas Eve!"

It seemed that Christmas Eve and its memories had swept over the little group by the tent. Everybody was talking at once. The spirit of Christmas had invaded our lonely island.

"Well, merry Christmas, everybody," came from the corporal.

"Thanks, corp., but I'm hanged if we'll have a merry one, stuck away on this Godforsaken piece of land."

Harry started talking about a Christmas he had spent in the Middle East, when he was in the army.

At that moment Tony came through the trees and called out, "Shut up! We heard that one the last time you were on leave. It looks like a fine Christmas, stuck out here."

Peace on earth and good will to all men. Yet here we were guarding a lonely outpost, ever on the lookout to welcome the Nips with a 303 or a length of cold steel.

Back in base camps cooks would be preparing puddings, cakes, fowls, pork, and all manner of delicacies. Boys would be reeling home into camp through the back tracks, singing "Good King Wenceslas" and "Roll out the Barrel" in glorious disharmony. All buddies together. Everybody would be reeking with the spirit of Christmas. In our homes our children would be hanging up their stockings while our mothers and wives were saying prayers for their loved ones. Shops would be gay with decorations. The Comforts Fund would be busy distributing hampers. War or no war, nothing could keep the spirit of Christmas down; but to us, posted on this lonely island, miles from the mainland, Christmas could be but a memory.

The sun went down and the evening shift of mosquitoes signed on; the steamy heat had cleared and a number of the lads were sleeping around a small smoke fire. A tropical moon shed its light over the picturesque setting of the camp and the silver-grey gums looked like a ghostly army. A soft breeze murmured through the tops of the trees. It was a night of mystery and magic. The war and all its horrors seemed hundreds of miles away. The hours crept slothfully away and night dissolved into dawn.

Suddenly the stillness was broken by the distant chug of a launch. The sentry woke the sleeping camp and the men, now fully alert, manned the defensive positions. It appeared that our lonely vigil was to be rewarded at last. Conjecture was rife. Who knows, perhaps a few miles out there to sea lay the sleek dark shape of a submarine. Was it the Nips paying us a visit?

In the half light of the dawn a patrol armed with Owen guns made its way down the beach trail. The launch came in towards the beach and the watchers on shore were relieved to see that it was manned by men in Aussie uniforms. What did the visit mean? Could it be a surprise inspection?

One of the patrol was sent back to the camp with the news and there was a wild scurry as tins and papers were thrust out of sight, and the horse lines hurriedly cleaned up. Then there was a yell from the beach-the Corp.'s voice could be easily recognized. "Hey, come down 211 of you, 'just as you are," he cried, "and bring a packhorse with you. Santa Claus has arrived, and, oh boy, what hasn't he brought! "

All hands ran down to the beach to see what was doing. Santa Claus had arrived! The Corp. and Tony were lapping up a bottle of beer, while three strangers were busy unloading a dinghy which was piled high with Christmas cheer and there were bags of vegetables, boxes of cakes, tobacco, bananas, passion-fruit, pineapples, soft drinks, bags of beer, and even chocolates.

The Corp. introduced us to the strangers Captain Black and two lieutenants of the V.D.C. It appeared that when Captain Black whose 'Y' Company was the closest V.D.C. unit to our post, heard that we were likely to spend a rather thin Christmas on the island he put it to his officers and men who organized a bangtail muster with the promise of plenty of fruit and vegetables. The result was this surprise visit to our post.

The spirit of Christmas had reached out and touched our lonely island. As the sun blazed over the horizon we drank the health of 'Y' Company and then cheered Santa Claus and his assistants as they returned to their launch.

"Q203549"